Make it a REAL LOVE Month

owlheart

Happy February all.
 
This month Canada along with many other western countries celebrates Valentines Day on February 14th. We’ve spoken to many parents and they say: ‘eh what’s Valentines Day anyways?’ and they laugh saying its just another insignificant Hallmark Day, that we should show love every day.. why just on February 14th??
 
Its true we have many celebration days: Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Grandparents Day, Fathers Day, Kids Day and now yes even for those hard core Canadian campers: we even have a National S’mores Day! Here what our director suggested to our families for this month and we hope you will join us in your own way :
 
1. Let’s take the good and leave out the bad. You don’t need to buy anything or book a date night but we could really focus on loving ourselves and others this month and encourage through our behaviour. As I’m reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, she mentions that  love is ‘not something we give or we get but something we nurture and grow and we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.’ Lets really think about that every day and what actions we are REALLY taking to project that love.
2. Lets change the thought that: love is a feeling . Its actually an action. When we meet someone we love, we go to HUGE lengths to project that love. We send flowers, book dates, surprise birthdays, buy fancy clothes to look good, talk kindly and even listen better! As we keep giving love – we start receiving it and it only keeps growing along with the feeling. The feeling can’t grow without the action.
3. Let’s focus on ourselves expecting nothing in return when we give love. Lets expect nothing but gratitude from within that we are capable of REAL love (that’s powerful). Brene says love and belonging go hand-in-hand. Let take a look there as well and recognize where we feel we want to belong.
 
4. We will encounter obstacles as in every journey however lets take them as life’s clues to a new path rather than a ‘punishment’ or ‘threat’.
 
5. ‘We all want to be loved and feel that we are a part if something bigger than ourselves.’ -Brene Brown. Let’s act that together this month. Let’s reject shame, blame,disrespect and withholding love to be right. Lets not blame so our point of view is the RIGHT points of view. Let’s do it right and let’s see what happens- what doors open and which doors remain closed.
 
I will be posting my thoughts throughout this month on how I projected love and hope you will be vulnerable with me and do the same.
 
Much love this month all,
Dana Ben Halim
 
 
❤ “It’s always seems impossible, until its done.” – Nelson Mandela
Advertisements

my 2014 plan…what’s yours?

IMG_0049As each year comes to a close you can’t help but look back at the highlighted moments of your life and just reflect. What worked, what didn’t, what were my happy, sad, angry and exciting moments? How will I do things differently based on all that? What was life teaching me about myself and others and where did I feel most successful?

The plan is to find JOY this year. I have a few ideas to share and love it if you would share yours.

  1. Dream it and start to LIVE it: begin with a list of things that make you feel a sense of freedom and bliss. Was it an unexpected surprise from your loved one? Was it spending quality time with your family and friends? Perhaps taking pictures of the trees after the ice-storm. Don’t think about what you think would make you happier but what actually did.
  2. Let it Go! Let it Go! Just like the Disney song…consider what things you did that made you feel small and heavy – bad habits, negative friends, resentment that your holding onto. No one said you have to be aggressive while letting go…just wave ‘bub’bye’ and sing ‘let it go! let it go!’ You are worthy of the freedom and peace.
  3. Have no fear of failure: let’s get this straight: there is NO SUCH THING as failure. It’s all a life lesson (as obnoxious as that sounds , it’s the truth). If you’re always afraid to fail it will only disable you more. Don’t forget that success is constructed from failure, just read about all the freedom fighters in history. Fight with your partner? Life is teaching you about what love really is. Terrible presentation at work? Life is opening the door for you to find your dream career. Everything starts with a thought and finding a problem’s solution is the start to new possibility.
  4. Focus or Pay Attention? I must have heard this word ‘focus’  this from my critics (my friends) 1000000000 times. I’ve tried and it doesn’t work. I love life and there is so much I want to do. I’m working on an organizational system that WILL ALLOW me to do what I want so I’ve basically eliminated this word from my vocab. LOVE LIFE and DO IT ALL (just get a good system so you don’t get stressed out).  So this year my focus is going to be on ‘paying attention’ instead.  ATTENTION to what really matters, what’s really important and central. Life is ready for you (and me), ready to help you get everything you want and there are so many signs just waiting to be noticed. Respond to your thoughts that feel exciting and see where they take you. If the task becomes heavy and a burden it’s not for you (next!) when things are right: doors will just open and everything will unfold naturally. That’s when your energy will just sore creating more momentum for the next exciting venture.

So there you have it.. my 2014..I’m ready. Your turn.

-Heart Mom

“Demand more from yourself than anyone else could ever expect.”

Today at Heart Learning Center we talked about a very special quote from Tony Robbins it is “Demand more from yourself than anyone else would.” I learned what it means and want to share through an example: Lets say  you weren’t doing well in math and you didn’t believe in yourself. Every time you did math you would get a bad grade. You get frustrated and hate math even more. One day you  decide you would pass and not just with a passing grade, with an A. Everyone doubted you because they would never expect you to get an A. You work hard, harder than ever and the day of the test comes and  get the  A.  Everyone is in shock because you did so well . You feel so good  about yourself because you never thought it was possible.

I think this quote is great because I think it will personally help me with things I am not so  good at. So tomorrow I will wake up in the morning before my mom wakes me up. She’s going to be shocked and proud of me. That will  feel good.

Sincerely,

Riley

I asked my 9 year old to NAG!

bg-twitter-3My 9 year old is a perfectionist. He is so hard on himself when he doesn’t do well, actually when things are not PERFECT.  Abe wanted to buy a chocolate from a friend who was selling at a school fundraiser. I didn’t have $3 on me so I said no. Instantly  his face turned. He wanted that chocolate and I was in his way. He walked off and didn’t say another word, but I could tell he was upset. You see  my son strives in everything to be perfect. He’s exceptional at math because nothing can stop him from excelling, he WANTS to get the grade and he gets it. He learned to play Oh Canada! on his recorder without notes because he WANTED to make his music teacher proud-nothing was going to stop him. He’s in competitive soccer and he is determined to be the best on his team- nothing will stop him.

The next day after school he came home and it sounds kind-of-funny but he ‘reeked’ of chocolate! I asked him if he had chocolate and he said yes. “Alice said she would buy me one so I accepted and I’ll pay her back on Tuesday” he said. “Ummm with what money??” I asked (I swallowed my anger and tried to calm myself). “With my money! I have money in my account remember?” ‘Hmmm, and you think you can just spend that as you like? On anything?’ Abe had a guilty look on his face. You could suddenly see the ‘oops’ on his face –  he knew that his ‘my way or the highway’ was kicking in again, but this time..it looked like trouble! yikes! I sent him to his room to think and write me a note explaining why he thought his actions would upset me, because I was upset. I needed a good 15 minutes to collect myself. So many things were running through my head: ‘how dare he? he’s my son! he can’t just do whatever he likes! why don’t we just eat ice-cream for every meal and finish with it? then reason started to slowly creep in (thank goodness) after a few sips of my green tea with mint. Okay so why did he do that? Well because I said no and to him: no means no, with no questions asked. He still wanted that chocolate so bad that because of his ‘all or nothing’ attitude he had to get it! Why didn’t he ask me again?  Abe never nags, he never tells me HOW MUCH he really wants something (unlike my daughter, that one…oh she’ll remind me 20 times a day!). So he’s quiet and I assume that because he’s quiet that he forgot about his demand; that he’s seen my reason and he doesn’t want it so much anymore. WRONG! He’ll find his way to get it! AHA!

I walked close to Abe’s door and found a yellow sticky note on the floor. ‘I’m sooo sorry” it read on the outside. “Dear Mom, I know that I took money from Alice but I really wanted the chocolate. You are mad because you said no and I did it anyway. I am sorry and I won’t do it again.” Okay now I felt like poop, but was also excited and proud that I figured this out , without having a temper tantrum. I walked in, gave him a hug and said: ‘Abe, I want you to nag’. He looked at me with his curious eyes big brown eyes and said “What? Nag?” I said ‘yes, sometimes I don’t know how much you really want something and if you give me a nudge or nag I’ll know a little better. I might change my mind you know because sometimes you have asked at a busy time. I want to know what is important to you and how important because I never want you to feel you need to go anywhere else but here. I also want you to trust my judgment because I love you and want to guide you until you are old enough to make your own decisions. I gave him the ‘too much sugar’ lecture but still confirmed that I want him to NAG, Abe gave a big smile, almost of relief. ‘Okay!’ he said.

Later on that evening he asked: ‘Hey mom, can I Skype Dad cause I want to show him my ‘A’ on my math test’. Imagine I had forgotten about the ‘nag’ request be he certainly didn’t. ‘Not right now Abe, I have to take your sister to art.’ It only hit me when we got to the parking lot outside art class Abe jumped in front of me and asked: ‘hey mom, can I Skype Dad?’  It was almost a shock for me to hear him ask for something twice..it had just never happened before. I THEN remembered…he was NAGGING! ‘Yes..yes you can, let Skype him right now.’

I learned that sometimes we just have to ask once  and it will happen , sometimes we need to keep asking for it to eventually happen  and sometimes its just best to let it be and move on but always have the courage to ask for what you really want.

Heart Learning Centre

Image

Hello, My Name is Riley I’m In grade 5 and the Blogger for mini economy, at Heart Learning Center and every day I will be writing a paragraph or two about the day. Today we just started mini economy, mini economy is every kid gets a job and works and when they do there job they get rewarded by fake money and then later on in the year we have a auction for toys and other cool things. The jobs Include Cafe assistant, Mini-Economy Leader, Sports Reporter, News Caster, Secretary, Ledger Boss, Historian, Caretaker, Social Director, Meteorologist, And Blogger/My Self. and that’s the story for today thanks for reading.

Talk to your daughters about Amanda Todd or the kids on the playground will.

I’ve always asked my kids if they need to talk to me and I’m not home, they should write me a note. I’ve gotten notes about how the tooth fairy never showed up to feeling worried about a test, but last night I cried from this note written by my 10 year old daughter. She wrote me a two page note about Amanda Todd. Here is the note with changes to the actual student names:

Dear Mom,

I finished my homework. At school I’ve been hearing a lot about Amanda Todd and Cindy said she knows so she told me:

One day Amanda was face timing a random person and he said wow your so pretty you should flash (whatever that means) so she did and a guy saw it and said: If you don’t make me a video I will post you flashing. And one Christmas she didn’t make him a video so he posted it and she was called names and got really sick and moved. At the new school, it was better but (she) was alone all the time and one day a guy came to her and she made a mistake and thought he liked her. So he invited her over. But the boy had a girlfriend and she got mad because the boy told her the wrong story so the girlfriend went up to Amanda and talked to her and in the background she heard: “punch her already” so the girl pinned her down and punched (her) over and over and Amanda was lying there. After she went in the corner and cried her dad found her and took her home and then they moved again. So she read emails that said horrible things and she drank (alcohol) and started smoking. And her sickness got even worse and she was bullied  so much she drank beach and thought she would die but she went to the hospital. And she started cutting (don’t know what that means) and got more emails that said ‘Oh she should drink more bleach and maybe that will kill her and she would finally die.” So she tried again and she killed herself. So is that what really happened? This is sad. What does cutting and flash mean? Whatever they mean, they don’t deserve what happened.

I was distraught. Of course I heard about this on the news, but I didn’t think to share the information with my daughter. And now, I was late and I missed the opportunity for her to feel empowered with the right information of what happened and what may have led to this girls tragic death. All of sudden nothing mattered. Not my job, my house, money…all that mattered was the reality of my baby growing up in this harsh world. Do I have to talk about this NOW?  Am I am I being forced to define ‘cutting’ ‘flashing’ and the reality of how horrible a human being can feel to the degree of taking their own life? Am I resisting the world we live in today and the magnitude of information at our kids’ fingertips or can I just blame this girl on the playground? I was so proud of her for writing me this note, yet so angry with the world that my baby had to face. But then I stopped for a second. What kind of a woman do I want her to be? Naive, ignorant, unaware? No. I want her to be confident, brave and alert. She is going to get information, and I can’t choose when, so I better pull my socks up and face the music of today.

I talked to my daughter on the way to school, answered her questions and finished the conversation feeling so proud of her and our relationship. “Wow” I thought. I am so happy she reached out to me and we talked about this. As she jumped out of our van today to get to class, I felt her strength and was reassured she went today with more in her brain around how to deal with life.  I am writing this to my fellow parents to share: as much as I tried to push this horrible story aside, hope it would blow over without my daughter hearing about it and that would better ‘protect’ her, it turned out, protecting her was to talk to her about it. Empowering her by answering her questions and give her the knowledge and advice she was asking me for in her letter. Bullying is terribly powerful that it can kill a child, as it did. I believe now as a parent, I need to talk more about it with my kids.

-Parent of Heart Learning Centre

Heart Learning Centre is a place where issues such as: when is it time to tattle?, how to explain your side of the story, communicating with my parents and much more awesome subjects are discussed and shared with our students aged 4-12. Our centre not only focuses on academic excellence, but readiness for the world and kids understanding their emotions is the key to their success. find out more about our awesome centre because the future is great here: www.HeartLC.com