The Secret to Calm and Happy Mom

I’m struggling with my 9-year-old daughter lately. She just seems so unmotivated, unfocused and just uncaring. I’ve sat for two-days trying to figure out what to do about ME because lately, avoidance and yelling have been the plan and doesn’t seem to be working. I decided to spend an afternoon at Chapters and ended up spending about 2 hours there with another mommy friend. I wanted to share a story from  a book I found called The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers.

I know this is a bit of cheap way to write a blog; a bit of cutting and pasting, but I thought this story was so good so why not share with the other mommies of the world? The book is written by Meg Meeker,M.D the bestselling author of Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. She is a mother of four and a physician practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine for 25 years.  In this part of her book she was talking about a mom of two children who would come to her clinic who just seemed so calm and happy.

“Every time Julianne brought her kids in for their checkups, something in her demeanor intrigued me. She was born in Japan, had married an American, and both of her children were stunning. They had thick licorice hair, soft brown eyes, and perfect skin. But her ability to produce stunningly beautiful children wasn’t what made me marvel. It was her demeanor. She had an aura of self-confidence. Not the obnoxious kind, but he genuine sense that she liked herself and she liked her life. Her clothes weren’t flashy and she never boasted about the activities that her kids were involved in. When I asked her about her kids’ schoolwork and behaviours, she neither boasted nor apologized. Instead, she related to me what she did with them and how much they all enjoyed their time together.  This type of report is rare in the histories I make.”

I continued to read as this mom intrigued me. I wanted to learn how she was so calm and happy.

“You seem as though you don’t struggle with feeling competitive with others, you appear to genuinely have fun with your kids, and I don’t sense that your kids are spoiled. They always act respectful to you  and to me, and not stiff. Do you have any secrets that I could share with other mothers? (What I really wanted to say was ‘with me?)”

“I guess I take after my mother. She loved being a mom. My sister and I were her whole life and she enjoyed being with us. I never felt pushed to be anything other than who I was and I always knew that she enjoyed our company. I adored my mom. I was so grateful that she cared so much for my sisters and me and I supposed that I learned from her that being a good mom is an extraordinary joy. When I became a mother, I wanted what she had and I think I do. It’s simple really -I like myself as a mother. I’m important to Jade and Tommy. I am their life and I like that.”

Pretty inspirational. I mean I’m going to continue reading the book, but I think that story was enough to keep me going for a few weeks. Do I love being a mom…yes…all the time?? umm no. Well why is that?  Because I expect my children to be like me or better? Probably. Okay fine: yes! Will that allow us to enjoy time together though if they feel like they just can’t be themselves?? Not really. Just all these thoughts going through my head and getting me thinking on what energy I bring to my surroundings. How much quality fun time do I spend with my kids and how can I make that a habit?  I certainly haven’t figured it out yet, however it did enlighten me on a few things. If you’re a mom reading this, please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

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